im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
