I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
