Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
