Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
