I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
And the cops told us we were all naked.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize