tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I need a beard to bite.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
