you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
