mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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