and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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