Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Congratulations! We have a period
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