Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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