In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize