At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
