Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
