me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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