I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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