I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
