Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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