do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
