You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
