you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
