It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
