i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
whose parrot is this?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize