Heybabeimwearingurpanties
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
