On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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