I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
