so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
