i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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