I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
