this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
