Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
