If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize
