Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
