Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
