when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
