so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
