I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
