either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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