Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
