So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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