Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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