drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
