I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
