Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
