I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
