i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
