He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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