she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
