Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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