I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize