I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
