Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
