We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
third nipple confirmed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
