Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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