i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
