Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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