I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
