It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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