i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
